You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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