____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Did you just see the Batmobile???
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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