If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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