i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
it's great music for shaving your balls
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
