Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
