Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
