Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
