Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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