it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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