then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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