he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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