What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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