Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize