The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize
