don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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