I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
