If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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