she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
