Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm at about main and main street
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
