if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
