Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
