there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize