I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
