i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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