literally had 100 drinks last night.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
