lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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