ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
