Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
