Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize