doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
