break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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