The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
