Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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