Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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