I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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