Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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