is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
