so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize