he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
