her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
