Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Mom said you looked used
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
