Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
