dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize