Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
