Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
