only if we run a train.
done.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
