so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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