Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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