Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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