i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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