i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
