the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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