When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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