I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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