There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The uberlube is also flammable
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
