Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We have started to decorate penises.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
