It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
