my soul wont recognize me after tonight
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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