she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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