if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
