we're blogging at a bar
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Sober January is a disaster.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
its liver damage thursday
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize