i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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