Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
time to smoke my breakfast
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
