I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
