my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
