I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
