Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize