i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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