Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You can't just leave with hair like that
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
